Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Staring Etiquette

I remember in grade school kids would run and tell the teacher, “Tell _____ to stop staring at me?!” As a child I knew what staring was when I’d see it but it wasn’t until I picked up “Staring: How We Look,” that I realized that I did not know the definition of staring. “Everybody stares. Staring is an ocular response to what we don’t expect to see. Novelty arouses our eyes. More than just looking, staring is an urgent eye jerk of intense interest,” (Garland-Thomson, 3). “. . .staring, in its pure and simple essence, is the time required by the brain to make sense of the unexpected,” quoted by Jeanne McDermot (Garland-Thomson, 13). If it is understood that staring is a natural behavior, why has society intrinsically created many rules regarding staring, an act that seems to be passed down genetically? Perhaps maybe through these societal norms we, as humans, want and try to protect not only ourselves but also others from the embarrassing and self-conscious feeling that may result from staring at someone’s obvious abnormality.

So according to the expectations of society when is it okay and not okay for someone to stare? Paying attention is one instance where staring is acceptable. To pay attention is to “make staring productive and controlled,” in a way where one is effectively engaged despite other stimuli in the environment. Keep in mind that “paying attention,” is only okay when it is proper. To pay proper attention, we must “tame reckless eyeballing, that we domesticate the rush of the new into sensible observation,” (Garland-Thompson, 21). But who decides the limitations on who, what, when, and where is proper?

Whenever a stimulus involuntarily grabs our attention do we transition from attention to staring? Attention Deficit Disorder is an example of when staring is not acceptable. Attention Deficit Disorder is the diagnosis for someone who is “overly susceptible to involuntary shifts in attention.” It becomes an issue when a person cannot consciously or responsibly control the attention span not to mention their urges to stare. There is this theory that maybe the widespread diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder is through an attempt to correct socially abnormal staring conduct. Does this in turn stigmatize these diagnosed individuals? According to Garland-Thompson it definitely does. She brings up a good point how the attention-deficit child is not in sync with the other children because they have not or are not capable of controlling their stare. Therefore the attention deficit child is turned into a “spectacle of undisciplined visuality.” According to the standards set by society, to look “right” or properly, one must appear “attentive;” to look “wrong” or improperly one must appear to be “staring.”

Furthermore, staring blankly (the blank stare) is also considered improper. “The blank stare is a variation on unfocused looking that indicates distraction, looking without processing the information we see. Extended looking threatens to reverse attentiveness,” (Garland-Thomson, 22). The blank stare is highly stigmatized in a way that draws attention from those that are properly attentive. Blank stares imply “visual impotence.” As with Attention Deficit Disorder, with blank staring comes this thought that one has the inability to make sense of what is being seen. Do you believe this to be true? Have you ever “daydreamed” (as I often call blank staring) due to the lack of simply not comprehending?

Why is it not okay to stare too long? Why can you glance but if you do so for too long it is considered staring? What is the boundary between merely glancing at someone and actually staring? A child knows when someone is staring. Could it then be inferred that it is instinctively built in us as human beings to know the limitations of looking at someone (glancing?) rather than actually staring?

1 comment:

  1. The fact that ADD is linked with natural imbalances in the brain and staring, it is obvious that staring isn't a completely controllable activity. It makes me upset to see perfectly healthy children treated differently just because they can't sit still for long periods or focus as long as others. Though it may make people uncomfortable at first, but I think that people need to change their minds about staring. The connotations with staring are so negative! Also, if one is caught deep in thought or confusion, are they really supposed to send all of their attention to what their eyes are doing? What if someone is learning through listening but not paying attention to where their eyes are? This is seen as staring and therefore non-understanding. I had a friend in high school that would not take notes or seem to pay attention in class; he was an auditory learner. He did perfectly on tests, and everyone was confused as to why. He focused on his own way of learning, not what he was supposed to look like while doing it. What if this was taught to ADD kids? Would the way they're treated in a school setting change?

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